By Joy Lynn Clark


When I was in college I started getting curious about fetishes. I watched the media, listened to the music, and viewed the films-all highlighting fetishes. I was intrigued by the fashion mainly. I started to fantasize how cool I would look in some of those leather outfits with all kinds of piercings and tattoos. I got my first tattoo around 18, 19 or so. It hurt like hell. Over the years I have thought about getting more but did I mention, that it hurt like hell.  The piercings went better.          

In high school,  my bestie And I decided to pierce our ear cartilage (A.k.a. the hard part at the top of your ear).  It hurt but we sure did look cool. Once I got a little older, I started to think that handcuffs could look sexy. Of course, I don’t know if I could let somebody handcuff me but, it looks hot.  On the other hand, I have always had trust issues and I just could never imagine who in the hell I would let Tie me Up or, handcuff me to anything.  

So I check out books, watch movies, and visit shops. I used to visit a fetish gallery that was so cool. The gallery was dedicated to art that features Images of models in the fetish scene.

Really cool Image that I found online. If you need me to cite this better, inbox me.

Let’s find out what is this world of fetishes about. It becomes clear to me that I just like the outfits. Plus, who in the heck would like me whooping them?  On top of that, would I even like to whoop them? Despite all of this, I do believe that the clothes are Hot! I don’t really like pain, however. I am not even sure if I would like someone that likes pain. Whenever I used to ponder on the subject I would think the person that likes pain might just be a little effed up.

After some years, I finally found out what BDSM means. I think it is something like, bondage-Domination – sadomasochism. So I figure I dress up in all black, grab my whip, and do some BDSM.

Keep in mind folks this is all to dress up in black leather.  Anyhow, I get a book on BDSM. That sucks. I would not like to be a slave, I would not like to meet people that Want to dominate me, I would not like to have my behavior corrected. This BDSM thing is just not me. And sadomasochism, get your dictionary.

Years ago, I was really curious about the topic and wrote about it. I’ve had more than one boyfriend that would like to dominate me, no surprises there.  I have written a couple of pieces imagining being a submissive. I would totally just be doing it for their benefit. And that’s kind of cool when you love somebody. But when I look back, I hate everything about BDSM except for the fashion. In fact, I wish there was a good reason to wear the fashion and not Do BDSM.      

Since it is February, I watched the “king“ film. Which was really around his birthday. I was expecting some slave shows from Bounce. I was really hoping on uncle Tom’s cabin. Too bad, no roots or nothing.

So, I’ve been watching westerns. And honestly, these westerns are like Black History Month for me. In fact, I have been pondering having to move to Oklahoma like my ancestors had to on the trail of tears. I still have my original records. Uncle Tom’s cabin might just be better for me right about now.

I think that the only way to effectively be a “master“ would be to do things In a Way where people are successful, happy, and not in pain . So even though a little kink can be represented as sexy, there is absolutely no way that I could be a master at dishing out Pain and truly enjoy it. And being a sub- is even worse. Who is this person that is trying to correct me? They are not my professor. So, how do I even justify any of this?

On the other hand, I am pretty dominant sexually-it’s really kind of twisted but I used to imagine being tied up But like, for lovemaking. I am beginning to think that this is a fantasy, however. I would get all dressed up like a sub and be tied down to have someone just love me up.  But then I start to think, would my partner know that I would only like it if they tied me down to love me up?  Well clearly I will have to be the Dom in the situation because I am not sure that if I allow my partner be the dom they would know this.  So I tried it, On more than one occasion. Once, I got tickled so hard I almost Peed my pants. Another time, I got spanked not too hard where I would cry but enough, where I didn’t care for that really. My partner must have enjoyed it.  They really likes it when I’m the dom, and so do I. So therefore, I could get dressed up in the sexy gear as a dom.

 I cannot however,  let someone Tie Me Up. So just know That I get no pleasure from hurting you. I am all about pleasure and I see no need to place a limit on that. 


About Post Author

Joy Clark is a writer, producer, vocalist, and publisher. Lexington, KY

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