Alone (Noon-Missed You For So Long, Love You Since The Dawn)

2/20/2024

By Joy Lynn Clark

After all of these years, I finally found myself in a state of peace. I looked around my place and I started “fall cleaning”. I got rid of a lot of non-essential items around my apartment. Everything looks nice and neat. I take a deep breath and pour a glass of champagne left over from the crate that I ordered last holiday. Next, I pour the bubbly into one of the crystal glasses that I had inherited from my stepmother’s passing. Well, I really am alone now. I need to make some plans.

Since it was just a few months ago that I had my child living here with me, my mommy instincts kick in. Does his dad know about the phone and laptop rules? Is he aware of all of his dietary issues? Does he need health records, school records, and what about medications ?

I knew that my child and I definitely could use some space but, I was worried about all of the little details surrounding moving in with dad.

I thought back to the first warning sign that I got back in elementary school and I feel so guilty. I should’ve put that boy right into counseling but instead I chose to take him out of public school. As I mentioned before, home school was great and I thought that maybe he just doesn’t care much for public school.

We got out every day. We did practice in our books, went to the library, the gym, and the museum on a daily basis. Afterwards, we’d come home and he would go and do homework time at the afterschool program. (which was when I get to go to happy hour). In addition, he participated in sports and art classes that were available through the park district.

Next, I think back to that chicken scratch blob that was labeled, “Kill so and so. . . “ and I thought to myself, he is a good kid. He just doesn’t like a traditional school setting. I figure that it’s nothing some good old fashioned hard work can’t cure. I intend to make him work hard too.

Homicidal ideation? I don’t think that he even knew that this is against the rules. He deserves another chance. I’m gonna give it to him. It’s not like he hurt anybody really, it’s just a threatening letter intended to let the bully know. He’s only eight for crying out loud.

I next began to worry about the fact that he didn’t take gifted enough. I didn’t really know how to work it into our daily routine in homeschool per se’ but I do know about challenges and I intend to challenge him mentally and physically through study and exercise.

As the primary grades come to an end we start receiving letters about magnet schools for the middle grades. I wanted my free time back for sure. On the other hand, I thought that things are OK as they stand now. No obvious behavior problems and he is doing well in most areas.

Clearly, I was wrong about getting my kid some help at age eight, but I eventually did. My baby is practically a grown-up now and is ecstatic to get to live with dad.

Now I need to look into things that I can love on in addition to my child. I started to read the “sex” tab, formally the “love” tab and I realize that all of this is bad stuff. I literally made a column of bad sex and unrequited love. I am thinking that this is my whole problem. I should be writing about all of the good sex and romantic love.

Since I am truly alone I am going to have to invest more into things that I love. So I get on the phone with an old flame and book tickets to go for a visit. I have known this guy forever and the only reason it never works out is my expectations about money! I think.

He can pay his rent, I can pay my rent. Neither of us has any kids around. We get along well. We could really try this time.

As far as new attitudes go, I even try this AI music stuff too. The first time, I had to reinstall windows because the feedback came through my software that isn’t even AI. This time, I decided to leave it and move forward. As I start singing the chorus:

Making love till noon

Count stars and then moons

Still up in my face

In another place

Feedback all over my face and in another place. So I decided to change it. I do remember another song and the feedback sounds like a type of stuff-biting alert. So I consider myself warned and change the lyrics to:

Still up in face I don’t want no space

The feedback is still going and I am running out of time to record. So I leaked the song to friends and family. Finally, I put on my thinking cap and decide on some totally original lyrics that avoid the biting and type of stuff alerts. This song got so hot people were outside of my window with their phones.

Oh well, off to the airport to get the love of my life to agree to be with me or at least come to my place for a visit. My whole plan was to hibernate for like a week and just, “make love till noon” every day. Then I can convince him to just run away with me.

Instead, I got the worst period of my life. I swole up and camped out on his couch with cramps the entire time.

Next, I pull out my phone and I’m like, “let’s book the next time so we can maintain” and he’s like, “I’m not really sure, I’ve got some things to look into”.

We also had some yucky snow so I asked him for a ride to the airport and I transfer some cash for gas.

After I get home I sweat him a by phone to see if I can still book the flight. No answer, no messages. After all of these years, what’s a little Period Blues? I can time things better next time. Too late I guess.

As I am pining over this dude and twiddling my thumbs about the next move I am going to make, I realize that time waits for no man – or woman.

So I plug everything up and try and finish up that little feedback issue with “Noon”. I just can’t seem to get a good recording in my apartment these days. My home studio sucks.

I decided that the best thing is to lease another place to work. My neighbor is a stay at home mom and she just watches a ton of daytime to the point where it isn’t even quiet in my barely spacious apartment any longer.

I keep trying to reach my beau with no answer. Wait till he sees me now with my new office space. I start to think, “wonder if I’d have to buy myself a ring if I were going to pop the question? No way, he’s not even returning my calls!

I can’t wait until I sign the lease and get the place insured. Now at least I can still write and make music even if I am alone.

I am not totally settled into my new studio but, I managed to record the new lyrics. Now the song is just needing a tighter mix.