Dating This Guy is Not Working

March 27, 2023

By Joy Lynn Clark

I have been online dating since it was invented. In my last post, (dating in the digital age) I’ve posted lots of tips for the online dating scene.

Recently, I decided to try online dating again since I have been depressingly single. I meant another guy and he was cool. OK here comes the McMillan-esque getting-your-groove-back-part, he was younger. Not in age, I don’t think, but in lifestyle. I didn’t mind that he didn’t have a car or his own place. This guy has a full-time job so there’s plenty of money left to take me on dates (even with student loans ).

Of course, I swing by his house to pick him up. It’s Independence Day and we Make our way to the fireworks display. It was really fun.

The next couple of dates are at my place where we make out and watch movies. At this point , He does mention that he wants children but I am assuming that he means whenever he pays off his student loans.

I drive him back home and he starts complaining about the cost of things and I have to point out that we really didn’t do much and that I am picking him up and dropping him off. We kind of part a little funky but I decided to discuss it more later.

This guy is still pressuring me about having children and I point out that we haven’t even gone to dinner.

The next week or two he invites me to dinner at a popular steak joint that I’ve never been to before. It was OK but there’s not much on the menu that I can have. He made a gesture but I wasn’t that much of a fan of the place.

I am getting by a little bit but I could use some more money. I mentioned to the guy that I am looking for work. Some extra cash would really be helpful. I usually resort to ride share or deliveries when I’m hard up for cash but with me needing a new car maybe I should just bartend or something.

I go to the banquet company and they are just unwilling to let me bartend first off. They tell me that I have to train, then email the bar manager. It was a real process. However, I decided to push forward since the managers seemed pretty easy-going and organized. I worked a couple of shifts but I instantly noticed that my new beau decided to hang out at their other location every Thursday night.

I start to put pressure on my manager and I give her a copy of my bartending certificate and references including one at a food distribution company.

My new beau asked me for 50 bucks. “I’m like, not after you just blew all your money in the bar that I don’t bartend at.” Lol no. I was more like, “you need a short term loan”. He took it personally and I decided to go back to ride share before I lose it all trying to bartend again.

I decide that it’s my turn to take the guy out. I invite him to a decent lunch and spent a comparable amount of money as he had in the steak joint. He reminded me about his really close female friend and I was like, “underwhelmed SMH guys just don’t get it”.

This beau and I have been going this way for months and I cannot believe that he hasn’t picked up on the fact that my site is kind of popular.

We also get into stupid arguments and I start to wonder is this like his little kink to just fight about stuff that I think is really stupid.

This guy doesn’t drink or smoke. I like that he doesn’t smoke but I start to wonder why does he hang out in bars without drinking? The next time he comes over I am going to have something.

He stops by and we start to make out. We went down on each other and I was glad that he’s not as prudish as I thought that he might be on account of his lack of maturity. I make him wear a condom even though he doesn’t want to. “I told you that I want to have a baby” he calls a rideshare and leaves – probably to go to the bar that I’m not bartending at. My feelings are so hurt. This is not working.

Joy Clark is a writer, producer, vocalist, and publisher. Lexington, KY

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